The Curious Corner / Issue #9
On conversation, ‘serious’ leisure, millennial culture, psychology and more
It is a unique feeling when the blank screen stares at me at the begining of writing every new issue. Some weekends, I know exactly how the issue is going to read like and some weekends, I have no idea. But one thing remains constant - every weekend is a privilege to be able to put this together for the curious sorts.
So, here we go - buckle up!
I recently posted on Twitter about the popularity of content from the self-help genre. The reason that I wanted to focus on was the lack of good conversations many people have access to. And the groups and friends who are open to good, deep conversation. And it matters. So much. The quality of our conversations shapes us in so many ways. I have been fortunate to have people who are generous in mind and spirit as they engage in conversation with me. I wish everyone had that. That’s why I loved this piece on how we can make normal conversation better. We are all hungry for connection. Why not take that first step?
“many conversations can be nudged in the direction of openness, spontaneous complexity, and shared emotionality. And a surprising number of conversations, thus encouraged, can become quite connective. These are the conversations where you’re likely to find yourself laughing, rambling excitedly, engaging in extended weird riffs, crystallizing old knowledge in new patterns, feeling comprehended, feeling loved, and, generally, having the sensation that you’ve temporarily stepped outside the walls around your being.”
The last couple of years introduced me to a new species. It started when a friend told me he never watched a TV show on Netflix below 1.2x - that is 1.2 times the original speed. ‘It’s too slow’, he complained as I tried to think of an answer, a justification for why I viewed content at the speed it was intended to be viewed. Then came the book-summary folks - people who did not want to read a complete non-fiction book and wanted a 10 minute summary instead. And then came the side-hustlers. People who have declared a war on idle time. This has me scared. I cannot ‘game’ every second of my life. And reader, I think you agree. That’s why this piece on the lack of hobbies in today’s generation spoke to me. I’d love to know what you think about this.
“Few people in sociology seem to find this a remarkable or regrettable deficiency in the field,” Stebbins tells me. “Serious leisure,” a term he coined, is the systematic pursuit of an activity—like rock climbing or singing—that usually requires a “special skill.” In other words, we need to put serious effort into a hobby in order to reap its rewards over time. Just like we dedicate our time and energy toward a career, committing ourselves to a “serious leisure” activity is one of the keys to achieving a fulfilling life, he says.
One of my favourite aspects of culture is language and the evolution of it on the internet has been wild, unpredictable, fast and mostly fun. As a millenial, it has been a game of catching-up and updating my vocabulary according to an online lingo made half of movie references and half of memes. This read about how the millenial discourse is ending was a sobering but insightful read. As my generation ages out of youth, the internet and its language are changing as well.
Millennials are becoming “the first cohort to watch their youth fade in real time, with evidence of their growing irrelevance meticulously documented in memes, trends, and headlines published on the very internet they once reigned over.”
Ever been in the middle of a negative event and thought it was somehow your fault even if you had nothing to do with it? Been in a position where you’ve needlessly taken things personally? I used to be this type of a person - wondering what others thought of me during a conversation, being anxious about my role in things going bad and more. A few years ago, I set myself free from subtext. From assuming the worst. And in some contexts, assuming anything at all. This read about how to not to take things personally is helpful in understanding the psychology behind why we sometimes behave this way and how we can keep away.
The first is personalisation, which is believing that you’re the cause of a negative event, despite having little or no evidence to support the belief. In my case, I thought I had missed out on an opportunity because I upset my friend, even though I had no idea what I had done. The second is mind reading, which is believing that someone is making a critical judgment about you, especially in an ambiguous situation where you’ve received no direct feedback
Standing out and retaining its wow factor is something LVMH does so well, as illustrated in this photo shared in a post by Richard Taylor. Imagine walking down a street and witnessing this fabulous arrow painted on the facade of a building pointing to the LVMH store. Wow, awe and so much more. Signature LVMH. One of the many things that come together to make marketing effective - the experience and the first impression.
This week, I read the wonderful Lonely Century by Noreena Hertz. Loneliness is all around us and comes in myriad forms. It is time we acknowledge all the ways loneliness exists and affects us. In today’s world, we need to pull together more than ever. We need to reach out, be a part of the collective and find ways to reconnect. Reading this book was reaffirming because it outlines so many ways in which we can deal with things in our capacity.
Some quotes to end this issue with -
“Why read or take walks or listen to music or engage in long conversations with people we care for? In part because we’ll never be poorer for enriching our inner beings.”
- Pico Iyer
"Be curious. Read widely. Try new things. What people call intelligence just boils down to curiosity."
- Aaron Schwartz
“Peace of mind does not come from finding an indisputable way of enhancing our status, it comes from discovering a sufficiently elevated and distant angle from which to look at everything we are and do in order finally to understand that we are blessedly and thankfully irrelevant to everything.”
- Alain de Botton
"Do you know what people really want? Everyone, I mean. Everybody in the world is thinking: I wish there was just one other person I could really talk to, who could really understand me, who'd be kind to me. That's what people really want."
— Doris Lessing
Dear reader, I hope this week you can find yourself in the middle of a great, fulfilling conversation where you find yourself sharing more than you’d like but not feeling bad about it. Where you allow someone a glimpse of your inner world and find it gives you courage to do so. Where you find solace in the common language of understanding we all share. And where you can smile and think about this newletter and this issue which predicted its happening.
Till next week - stay curious!